Alex Turner: Hello there. This is Alex Turner. I’m with Matt Helders.
Matt Helders: Hello.
Alex Turner: And we are both one half of the Arctic Monkeys. We have a new album coming out September 10th called “AM,” and this… is our dinner party soundtrack.
1. R. Kelly, “My Story”
Matt Helders: We’re going to start with R. Kelly’s new jam, “My Story.” And apparently he’s sticking to it.
Alex Turner: People are arriving at this point. I’d probably still be finishing off the meal, maybe sauteeing the spinach because that only takes a sec.
Matt Helders: Oh, while you’re cooking?
Alex Turner: Yeah. People are walking in. They’ve brought a bottle of wine. They’re like, “Oh, something smells good.” I’m like, “Yeah: R. Kelly. Check it out.”
Matt Helders: The melodies are there, content is… more than there. It’s just unbelievable. He never ceases to amaze me with his lyrics.
Alex Turner: This is just his story. He’s from that Chi-town dirt, and he went from being broke to sleeping in Versace shirts.
Matt Helders: It’s a true rags to riches tale.
Alex Turner: What more do you need?
2. Lou Reed, “Vicious”
Alex Turner: After R. Kelly, we might like to play a little bit of Lou Reed, from the “Transformer” LP – “Vicious.” At what point in the meal would you play “Vicious”?
Matt Helders: Probably between the starter and main course.
Alex Turner: Yeah. Like if you’ve still got a vicious hunger.
Matt Helders: You might do a fish dish. A vicious fish dish.
Alex Turner: Right, like a swordfish.
Matt Helders: Yeah, we’ll do swordfish as a main.
Alex Turner: After you’ve listened to “Transformer” by Lou Reed, you sort of feel like you should have a shower. That’s kind of what we wanted our record to evoke.
Lou Reed, “Vicious.” Rock and roll.
3. Joe Cocker, “Woman to Woman”
Matt Helders: So for the third song in the dinner party we’re going to play Joe Cocker’s “Woman to Woman.” I think it naturally takes us to dessert. Which will be a chocolate self-saucing pudding.
The way you make this pudding is interesting. It’s as interesting as the song choice. Because you’re probably thinking, “How did they get that chocolate sauce in there when it’s surrounded by cake?”
You have to create sort of a chocolate ice cube. Melt the chocolate, then freeze it in a cube tray. Put your cake mix around it, cook it — your sauce is in there, and it’s not escaping.
In England, “pudding” just means “dessert” a lot of times. “Do you want any pudding?” That means “do you want any dessert.” So it’s not just the little pots that you put in the fridge and eat at school.
Alex Turner: I just want to try and sing “Pudding.”
[To the beat of the song:] “Puuuudding, dit dit dit dit dit. Puuuudding, dit dit dit dit…” You can imagine like a spoon going into the thing, and coming out.
4. Arctic Monkeys, “Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?”
Alex Turner: Okay, so if it gets to the point, Matt, in the evening, when you’ve brought the cheese out… and the coffee… and you’ve wowed everyone with your espresso machine… and they’re like, “Come on, Matt, play us one of your new tunes…”
Matt Helders: And I’m like, “Guys, you know I don’t usually like to do this”.
Alex Turner: “Oh, come on, Matt.”
Matt Helders: “I don’t even know if I’ve got a copy of it.”
Alex Turner: “Let’s hear the new record.”
Matt Helders: And I’ll be like, “Okay. I’ve got this in my pocket. It’s called an iPhone and I’ve got…”
Alex Turner: “What are you sticking on?”
Matt Helders: “Why Do You Only Call Me When You’re High?”
Alex Turner: Who would you like to invite [to the party] if you could invite anyone?
Matt Helders: David Beckham.
Alex Turner: Dead or alive?
Matt Helders: If we could do dead I’d probably bring a stegosaurus.